Aren't relationships fascinating?
I am reflecting on expectations and the realization that relationship expectations just aren't realistic beyond, I love you. Even that isn't a given.
I don't think I am alone in this thinking either.
After spending the last 5 days with family and multiple friends, we all seem to have a current running theme. Misunderstanding, internalized expectations and unclear communication. All of which could likely be resolved if we all felt the utmost security in our relationships.
Why don't we feel absolutely secure? Why do some people feel like they have to walk on eggshells instead of really saying what they feel? Why do some people say what they want or feel to the detriment of their relationship? Why do some people not say anything until it blows up in your face and you had no clue there was something blow-uppy worthy?
Being in a polyamorous family dynamic myself, clear communication is so important. We are NOT perfect by any means and there is much to learn about ourselves as we learn to live together and grow as a family. I, for one, know that I need to not anticipate potential outcomes, or experience unanticipated disappointments when I may be, and often am, the culprit of poor communication. I am still learning how to make myself be clear, heard, understood. It's baby steps and a lot of tripping up, but as each day goes by I feel that the fledgling family will grow strong and things will balance better provided we are all clear with each other. It's going to be bumpy, that's an obvious caveat, but hopefully not so bumpy that we can't learn from those bumps and bandage ourselves up and carry on.
I need to feel secure. That will take time. I need to let go of my own unrealistic expectations, my own unrealistic expectations, my own disappointments.
Stand by for the next episode of expectations exceeded.....
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